Dear Dairy:

Watched some of the Al Gore ‘It’s Getting Hot in Here’ concert to raise awareness about global warming. What’s good for the goose is good for the other goose, though, and I’m toying with the idea of a benefit to promote unawareness of global warming.

We’ve lined up some top-flight entertainers that put the Gore gang to shame. Yakov Smirnoff and Lucy Arnaz have already confirmed that they will play anytime, anywhere, as long as sandwiches are provided. Ron Palillo and Joyce DeWitt will be playing Lord and Lady Macbeth in a nonprofit production of Macbeth to be performed in the Sporting Goods section of a Tuscaloosa Walmart we'll broadcast live via camera phone. Our feelers are out to Johnny Cash and Waylon Jennings, and frankly I’m a little disappointed that they have yet to respond. They would be great for the all-star singalong at the end with one of the great singer songwriters of all time—yes, Joe Dolce will be performing ‘Shuddupa You Face," which will be a great chance for folks who hate county fairs to come out and see him.

Counting down to the Concert for Status Quo,

P.S. I wonder if we can get Status Quo to play?