Dear Diary:

How are you? I am fine. I watched the GOP debate yesterday. The Republican candidates have a funny way of never mentioning me or my policies directly. Maybe it’s just out of respect, or that they feel the need to be their own men, but I figure there’s a lot of political capital they’re leaving on the table. After all, nearly a quarter of Americans still proudly and enthusiastically call my Administration ‘adequate.’

Still, I want to help the GOP frontrunners to call attention to where they disagree with me, if at all. My Administration does, after all, as a rule embrace dissent. In fact, Uncle Dick has put out word to their campaigns that the first GOP candidate to criticize me publicly will be rewarded with my endorsement.