Dear Dairy:

The Iraqi government is demanding Blackwater compensate the families of everyone killed in the September 16th shootout, to the tune of $8 million apiece. Excuse me, but these folks had bullets pumped into them; not winning lottery tickets. On the bright side, this proves that the Iraqi government actually can agree on something, which up until now was in grave doubt. Maybe we can loan them that ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner out of storage.

We’re all on pins & needles over here wondering how much they’re going to award the families of our war dead, who are falling needlessly due to their resolute inaction towards initiating political reconciliation. Could be a big Christmas for a whole lot of U.S. widows!

Would the $136 million Blackwater may pay be part of their cost-plus contract? Maybe they’ll be good enough to wave their profit margin on this one; otherwise these spurious wrongful death suits will be a new profit center for them.