Dear Dairy:

The G8 is like asshole camp. Everyone talks about boring stuff. I want to go home.

They had models of these missile interceptors and when I was playing with them Angie Merkel snapped at me. Take it easy, lady. We’re the USA, we’ve saved the world a couple times, maybe you heard about it? If it wasn’t for us, all your people would be speaking German right now.

Seriously,
GWB