Dear Dairy:

How are you? I am fine. I’m here at the G8 summit, which is a meeting of all the important nations of the world and Canada. I’ve traveled around Germany a little but haven’t seen a Der Wienerschnitzel yet; I sure could go for a corndog.

This Putin fella gets on my nerves. He thinks he’s so great. Keep pushing, little guy; you’re gonna find yourself in a spider-hole. Napoleon and Hitler both invaded Russia, so it’s not like it can’t be done successfully.