Dear Dairy:

How are you? I am fine. Laura—the Mrs.—said if I’m going to get a book deal after I’m done Presidenting I’m going to need a day-by-day account to make stuff up from, so here goes! It seems like homework to me, but she says all the Presidents have to do it. Evidently President Carter can write one per day on the crapper, but who cares? Books are like National Intelligence Estimates: they keep writing ‘em, but nobody reads ‘em.

If I have to do one, I want it to be a graphic-novel type book; those are bitchin.’ Maybe the fella that did ‘300’ can draw it for me.