Dear Dairy:

Congress is apparently initiating contempt proceedings against Harriet Miers for "forgetting" to testify yesterday. They should know by now how bad the memories of members of my Administration tend to be.

People unfairly likened my attempts to make her a Supreme Court judge to Nero making his horse a Senator, but this woman’s legal acumen is rivaled only by the most dedicated viewers of ‘Matlock.’ And her personal dedication to me is unimpeachable. She would gladly crawl through a runoff canal full of entrails at a slaughterhouse just to lather her body afterwards with a urinal soap cake I’d pissed on.

It was the weirdest thing I ever saw.

Loyalty is the most important competence,