Dear Dairy:

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you;
Happy Birthday, America,
Happy Birthday to you!

I just want to say that for a 237-year old lady, you look fantastic, America. You’re vibrant and beautiful. You’re nurturing and you’re strong. You’re traditional and modern at the same time.
If only the Constitution were aging so well!

Proud to take patriotism as my last refuge,