Dear Dairy:

How are you? I am fine. I’m sad to see yet another of the faithful departing the fold; Tony Snow will be leaving his position as White House spokesman on September 14th, as soon as we finish solemnly, tastefully and respectfully milking the anniversary of Sept. 11th for all the political advantage we can.

His official reason for leaving is that as a father of three, he needs to make more money than the $168,000 he is paid here, and I suppose no one can blame him there. I have no idea how Americans could be expected to scrape by on such an insulting wage. I’m a little vague on what the ‘official’ poverty line is, but it’s got to be well above that. I can only imagine the squalor of his vacation home; it’s probably nowhere near the water. Still, I suppose lots of fellas would be reluctant to leave employer-provided insurance coverage for him and his family, especially in the middle of Cancer treatment, but those are the kinds of shiftless Americans who do not demand of themselves Tony’s moxy, his initiative, and his lucrative prospects on the Conservative speaking engagement circuit.

Still, I know he’s going to miss doing what he loves most: distorting and contorting the truth while dismissing facts and painting those who present them as unpatriotic cowards all-too-eager to fellate the terrorists they so revere.

Uncle Dick said 'Wait until he finds out about a little term they use in the private insurance industry he's been defending called "pre-existing condition."'