Dear Dairy:

The Democratic majority I thought would be a Godsend last year has yet to deliver, which only goes to show that you can never count on Democrats. The idea was that they would cut off funding for the troops in Iraq, I’d have no choice but to withdraw the troops, and whatever mess resulted could be then blamed directly on the Democrats. At that point, the stain and blame for failure in Iraq could be shifted from me onto the Democrats. ‘Everything would have gone great, if the Democrats hadn’t forcibly derailed the Bush Plan for sure victory,’ would have been the pretty impenetrable logic of GOP loyalists, forever.

Except the Democrats aren’t derailing my plan, despite the fondest expressed wishes of their supporters and the fondest unexpressed wishes of their opponents. How can we blame the Democrats for the mess in Iraq if they don’t start taking responsibility?

It’s like that old game where two cars are headed straight for each other and whoever chickens out first and swerves loses. I forget what the game is called, but what’s important is both sides in this case are letting Americans die needlessly to protect their own name in History. I think this is unspeakably selfish of the Democrats. They see me in a hole trying to dig my way out and they stand idly by rather than step up, take the shovel out of my hand, and allow me to blame the hole on them.

Playing politics with American lives is my policy, democrats! Get your own!